Kaleidoscope...!!!

on certain days i feel like a li'l birdie locked up in a closet,shivering, almost fainting but i am alive i can feel my pulse beating..
and some days i am the horse who runs free in the woods, fearing no one, untamed, unnamed, wild and carefree..
and the next day i am all concerned and loving my life more than ever,  dreams to make it more and more beautiful..!!
and then again i am all alone and want to live my life that way, secluded from those who care about me, my life...
Is this what is termed "multiple/split personality disorder"..??? Is it going to last till I do? I hear voices in my head and i lay awake at night just to find out why can't i get some sleep when people around me are in deep slumber..what is that i need? am i happy or am i sad? I have problem knowing myself.. there are things that i want to happen to me and then when they happen i suffer i wanna escape but i am already in the mud. who can clean that off??? is there anybody or anything which can give your mind that enrichment which it is looking for?? i know my mind is like a flower it can bloom, it does, i have seen many a times.. and then i lose the control... and i am somehow in the process it's me,who is lost... but i don't want a path to follow, neither any rule would do.. i just wanna be myself for sometimes then i can,may be, again take over, or if there's a question of chance then at least i can try..

trips..and days..

there wasn't anything to do and when i woke up i was filled up with energy from head to toe..called up a friend and planned to go out..met him but then didn't know where to go..Then few hours later we were in a boat.

                        Ganges..!!

 a river and sunset and being jobless, with a broken heart, don't let you control your tears to flow..and it wasn't only due to my problem filled life but somewhere i knew,i felt there is a hollow that can't be filled up. Happiness seemed vague, at the same time there wasn't anything to be sad about..how is life changing, like a presentation every slide is moving and making another new point..

 i am endlessly looking for jobs and yet failing to get hands on them, my problem is not being jobless but finding the one job which i was looking for since i left school.

 And in the process am too tired to make an individual presence. All my time is passing by thinking of how to get there and i am missing outta whole lot of stuffs going on around me. I am stubborn i won't change my mind. And i know i will get it but why is it taking so long? What is so huge that i can't get over it???
 why am i asking these questions here???
he he he..
Probably this happens when you are stressed.. well that's what i guess,anyway. loss of words.. tata..!!  

my aRtWorK

I am sorry but all i could come up with all these collage as i don't know how i forgot to take pics step by step. I am sincerely sorry this won't happen next time.
Now, i will write the step by step process in the easiest way possible :

What are the things that you need :

1. art paper of any color  ( i chose black & white )
2. Exacto knife
3. glue ( mod-podge/ fevicol)
4. loose glitters
5. Acrylic / water color

Process :

1. First of all you will need print outs of silhouettes or draw it in a hard board and cut out along the lines to make your own stencil.

2. now place that on your art paper and again cut it along the lines with the exacto knife.

3. now when you have few of your paper cuttings ready then apply glue over it and sprinkle over the glitters on the piece.

4. set it aside for a while then tap off the extra glitters.

5. leave it to dry and Voila!!!!!! you have it in your hands all set to rock...